Scenes We Never Saw: Prisoner of the Judoon

Androvax felt an urge to do him. He was rough and hunky, nothing like the leather-clad wimps on his home planet. That's why he killed them all. And he didn't even sodomise them when they died.

He grabbed a brick and swung it at Tybo's face. The Judoon dropped to the ground instantly. Now was the time to have some fun.

Andy's long tongue slivered out of his mouth and began to explore the Judoon's body. Suddenly, Andy felt an urge to explode, and he did so, all over Tybo's eye. Andy cackled in his Russell Brand voice and skipped off in his leather catsuit.

Scenes We Never Saw: Journey's End: Part 0.5

SARAH JANE
Davros... it's you!

DAVROS
Ah yes... Sarah Jane Smith... I remember when-

SARAH JANE
Shh! Don't tell them!

DAVROS
What? About the time when you came to visit the birth of the Daleks in the story Genesis of the Daleks?

SARAH JANE
Oh, I thought you meant something else.

DAVROS
And what would that be?

SARAH JANE
Our encounter previously...?

DAVROS
Ah yes... I remember quite clearly...

Flashback: INT - A house. Davros is looking through a magazine. A woman walks in, wearing a short, sparkly thing (which is apparently called clothing, but only in Slutland, I gather...)

SARAH JANE
Ah, I'm here.

DAVROS
Are you the woman I called?

SARAH JANE
Quite rightly so. I've brought my own little toys too.

DAVROS
You won't be needing them. Do your thing...

SARAH JANE
Oh yes. I will.

End of Flashback.

JACK
What the hell was that?!

SARAH JANE
Oh my word... can someone cut that out from the final broadcast please?

DAVROS
Ha ha ha... Sarah Jane... will you accompany me to destroy the world?
SARAH JANE
Er... NO!

DAVROS
Ha ha ha... You, Jack? C'mon! A cronie needs some help.

SUPREME DALEK
Then what am I for?

DAVROS
Colour.

JACK
Suree! *teleports to Davros' side*

ALL gasp.

Scenes We Never Saw: Warriors of Kudlak

INT. Galaxy 3000 basement/spaceship place

JEN
Right, so we're stuck here, and does anyone know?

LUKE
Jennifer Davis, I think I know.

JEN
How the hell do you know my name? Perv!

LUKE
I know lots of things. I know what a gay person is, how to use a dildo, what happens when you eat-

CLYDE
Stop right there! We don't want any of that (nudges Luke) do we?

LUKE
Yeah... okay, so anyway, I need to use your watch.

CLYDE
Why? Are you going to connect it to the super computer system and get us out of here by using your supreme intelligence?

LUKE
No... I need to see the time.

CLYDE
Oh. :o

JEN
Clyde, you are such a retard.

CLYDE
You can't say 'nuffin, braceface!

JEN
'uh! Excuse me-

CLYDE
Did you just break a nail? Aww... poor babs...

JEN
What the hell is your problem, chavinistic PIG?!

CLYDE
My problem is you, you overacting TART!

LUKE
Clyde, keep it down.

CLYDE
I'll shout when I want to!

LUKE
Then why are you so quiet in the bed then?

JEN
:eek:

Scenes We Never Saw: The Shakespeare Code

INT. Bedroom

MARTHA blows out the candle. She turns to the Doctor and puts one leg over his body.

DOCTOR
Ooh, you are a fine lady, Martha Jones.

MARTHA
Doctor... move over...

DOCTOR
Okay... ooh that is nice... ooh I'm getting a sensation in my area... ooh HARDER HARDER DO IT! MARTHA OH YES COME ON BABY GIVE IT TO ME! WOOHOO! HARDER! FASTER! OH YES! OH YES! 

MARTHA (shocked)
What the hell is wrong with you?!

DOCTOR
I... I... thought you were...

MARTHA
You think I'm your slag?! Time Lord? Time pimp, more like.

DOCTOR
Hey! I grew out of that a long time ago!

MARTHA
Whaaa?

DOCTOR
Back on Gallifrey-

MARTHA
I'm sorry, what?

DOCTOR
Gallifrey. Oh, I don't tell you about that until Gridlock. But yeah, I used to run a little Gentleman's club...

MARTHA
You. Are. Disgusting!DOCTORIt paid my porn obsession!

MARTHA
What was that? Men on the other bus?

DOCTOR
Time Ladies.

MARTHA
Wipe the drool off yer face.

DOCTOR
Sorry :o

Scenes We Never Saw: Journey's End: Part 2

EXT. Bad Wolf Bay

ROSE
OMG Docta you can't jusssht leave me 'ere with him!

10.5
Calm down, dear...

ROSE
No! I won't! Arghhhh! Doctaaaa!!! Come baaaaack!

DOCTOR
I'm right here.

DONNA
She's got randy syndrome.

DOCTOR
Yer-what?

DONNA
She so wants do get it off with you right now...

DOCTOR
Ooh.

10.5
Rose! Come on, let's go home...

JACKIE
Yeah, Rose, let's get something to eat.

DONNA
Where did you come from?

JACKIE
I'm her mother??

DONNA
Yeah, you look old enough to be one.

JACKIE
Shut up you tart!

DOCTOR
Jackie, you say that like Donna is a woman...

DONNA
:eek: You promised you would never tell anyone?!

10.5
That you have a giant donkey's-

DONNA
10.5's gotta winkie!

ALL gasp.

ROSE
Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Scenes We Never Saw: Journey's End: Part 1

INT: The TARDIS

ROSE
Shho, Marshha, what did you mean when you shhaid that the Doctor... found me?

MARTHA
It's Martha. Oh and it's 'cause I was being nice... he was SO mentally heartbroken when he met me.

ROSE (taken aback)
What the hell? He was that shhhad?

MARTHA
Yeah! He was all sobby wobby waa waa, where is Rose gone... she left her dild-

ROSE
Oi! He better not have shhhown you our shhhecret shhhex-

MARTHA
He did. All of it. And the videos...


Flashback: In the TARDIS video room

MARTHA
So... this is your video collection?

THE DOCTOR
Yap! Sorry, who are you again?

MARTHA
Martha! For heaven's sake you Time Lard!

THE DOCTOR
Ah yes... the medical student... I'm the Doctor, by the way... what are you doing here again?

MARTHA *slaps the Doctor*
Get it into your dumb, puny brain that I am your companion now! Rose went ages ago! Grr!

THE DOCTOR
Oh Rose... :( ... Did I mention that this was the video we recorded after Tooth and Claw? We just met the Queen Victoria and we were so randy then... *hands the video to Martha*

MARTHA
What the flip am I meant to do with this? Watch it?

THE DOCTOR
Might give you some tips...

MARTHA
:eek:

End of Flashback

ROSE
Bloody hell! He was messshed up in the head!

MARTHA
Yeah... but at least you're gonna live with that clone dude now.

ROSE
How did you know?!

MARTHA
It's called reading the script. Did they teach you how to read in Chav School?

ROSE
Biatch! *slaps Martha*

SARAH JANE
Rose! *hugs*

MARTHA hugs Jack and everyone blah blah blah.... Martha goes outside to say goodbye, ROSE sticks her middle finger up.