Has-Been Girls

Sarah Jane: She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Maria Jackson. We were best friends in a year ago. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then after the whole Sontaran incident, I got closer to Clyde who was totally gorgeous, and Maria was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Clyde, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all OAP girls pool party, I was like, "Maria, I can't invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be old women there in their bathing suits. I mean, right? She was a lesbian. So then her dad called me and started yelling at me, it was so retarded. And then she left and went to America because no one would talk to her, and she came back over for her mum's wedding, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on Rakweed.