Rani licked Clyde's lollipop.
"Yum! Chocolate flavour!" Rani grinned, taking another lick.
"Yeah it's great, isn't it?" Sarah Jane had a taste.
"Mum, I want a go!" Luke squealed, sounding a lot like Maria.
Sarah Jane was turned on by this.
"I want some more!" Rani was hungry for more. Then she took a nice big bite out of it.
"There's a nice, creamy centre inside." Clyde told him, offering them some more.
The creamy centre exploded all over Rani's face.
"That's not fair." Luke moaned.
"Don't worry Luke, I have lots, especially for you." Sarah Jane said, offering her package.
The End.
2 Girls, 1 Horse
"Martha? Oh Martha!"
Martha appeared from the closet, dressed in a black PVC suit, showing off her abs and curvalicious bum.
"Yes, Rose?"
Rose was dressed in a Little Bo Peep costume, complete with sheep.
"That doesn't work."
"What do you mean?"
"The sheep."
"The sheep?"
"Er yeah, why do you have sheep?"
"I'm Little Bo Peep!"
"You've lost your sheep!"
"Oh."
"Idiot.
"Hey! At least I don't look like a Catwoman reject."
"Oh come on, you're an old woman who looks after sheep. Don't be calling me a reject."
"NEIGHHHHH!" Neighed Arthur, impatiently.
"Shut up!" Rose insisted.
"No! Just because YOU can't look sexy doesn't mean I have to miss out on some horse-y love." Martha spat.
"Neigh!" Winked Arthur.
Martha leaned over and rubbed his long, fraying tail. Arthur neighed again.
"Ooh what is that lovely smell?" Martha playfully laughed.
Plop.
The End.
Martha appeared from the closet, dressed in a black PVC suit, showing off her abs and curvalicious bum.
"Yes, Rose?"
Rose was dressed in a Little Bo Peep costume, complete with sheep.
"That doesn't work."
"What do you mean?"
"The sheep."
"The sheep?"
"Er yeah, why do you have sheep?"
"I'm Little Bo Peep!"
"You've lost your sheep!"
"Oh."
"Idiot.
"Hey! At least I don't look like a Catwoman reject."
"Oh come on, you're an old woman who looks after sheep. Don't be calling me a reject."
"NEIGHHHHH!" Neighed Arthur, impatiently.
"Shut up!" Rose insisted.
"No! Just because YOU can't look sexy doesn't mean I have to miss out on some horse-y love." Martha spat.
"Neigh!" Winked Arthur.
Martha leaned over and rubbed his long, fraying tail. Arthur neighed again.
"Ooh what is that lovely smell?" Martha playfully laughed.
Plop.
The End.
Desperately Seeking Bea Nelson-Stanley - Part One
It was quite hot and Sarah Jane was all alone with Bea. She saw Bea's old, white hair and longed to run her hands through it. Then she blushed as she stared at Bea's skin. Oh it was so wrinkly and bumpy, full of liver spots and random bits of fluff.
Sarah Jane licked her lips at the thought.
Bea croaked and looked back at Sarah Jane, smiling. "I know what you are thinking." She murmured, "Those pesky potato-headed Sontarans wanted some of this too." She undid her Marks & Spencers' cardigan to show Sarah Jane what she was talking about. Sarah Jane's eyes widened at the sight before her.
Sarah Jane made the first move. Her hands brushed across Bea's dentures. A sizzling thrill raced down Sarah Jane's body and ended at her hips. Bea returned the favour by licking Sarah Jane's left earlobe. Sarah Jane went in full force and shoved her hungry face in between Bea's doilies.
Suddenly, the door crashed open and a police officer stood there, amazed. "What the hell is this?!" He squealed. trying to pretend he wasn't turned on by it.
Bea stood back and muttered, "I don't know."
And as Sarah Jane wiped the cobwebs away from her mouth, the policeman arrested her... and through the window, Maria Jackson chuckled...
TO BE CONTINUED!!
Sarah Jane licked her lips at the thought.
Bea croaked and looked back at Sarah Jane, smiling. "I know what you are thinking." She murmured, "Those pesky potato-headed Sontarans wanted some of this too." She undid her Marks & Spencers' cardigan to show Sarah Jane what she was talking about. Sarah Jane's eyes widened at the sight before her.
Sarah Jane made the first move. Her hands brushed across Bea's dentures. A sizzling thrill raced down Sarah Jane's body and ended at her hips. Bea returned the favour by licking Sarah Jane's left earlobe. Sarah Jane went in full force and shoved her hungry face in between Bea's doilies.
Suddenly, the door crashed open and a police officer stood there, amazed. "What the hell is this?!" He squealed. trying to pretend he wasn't turned on by it.
Bea stood back and muttered, "I don't know."
And as Sarah Jane wiped the cobwebs away from her mouth, the policeman arrested her... and through the window, Maria Jackson chuckled...
TO BE CONTINUED!!
Whatever Happened to Clarah Jane?
INT. SARAH JANE'S HOUSE
SARAH JANE
Omg Clyde that was amazing!
CLYDE
I know right.
SARAH JANE
No I mean seriously! Where did you learn all that?!
FLASHBACK: CLYDE and MARIA are at a desk.
MARIA
So this is Number 7.
CLYDE
7?!
MARIA
Yeah.
CLYDE
7?!?!?!
MARIA
I thought it was obvious.
CLYDE
Oh, I'm looking at it upside down.
MARIA
No, you're not.
CLYDE
Ew, who's is that big?!
MARIA
Hey!
CLYDE
Excuse me, while I puke.
MARIA
Twat.
CLYDE
Wideset.
END OF FLASHBACK.
SARAH JANE
Quick, let's clean up before Luke gets back.
CLYDE
Boy, we're gonna need a huge mop for that!
SARAH JANE
Oh come on, I can make more than that.
CLYDE and SARAH JANE look at one white droplet on the floor.
The door opens. LUKE enters.
LUKE
What the hell?! (shielding eyes)
SARAH JANE and CLYDE desperately try to put their clothes back on.
CLYDE
Hey hey! Luke ma man! We were just er..
SARAH JANE
Sorry Luke. We were making love.
LUKE
EW! I thought you were teaching him about sexual education, like you did to me.
SARAH JANE
That would have been a better explanation...
CLYDE
Er what?
LUKE
What?
SARAH JANE
What??
CLYDE
You teach him Sex Ed?
SARAH JANE
Yeah...
CLYDE
You said I was the only man for you!
LUKE
That's a lie! Mum said I was the only man for her!
CLYDE
Ha ha ha.
LUKE
What? Can't take it that I have perfect genitalia?
CLYDE
Maria has bigger genitalia than you.
MARIA (background)
I heard that!!
CLYDE
What the hell are you doing Maria?
MARIA comes out behind the sofa with a stick.
MARIA
Sorry, Sarah Jane.
SARAH JANE
I am fed up with you!
MARIA
Me?
SARAH JANE
Yes you! Everywhere I go, you are ALWAYS there, either with your stick or your dad. You are SO annoying!
MARIA
(crying)
Waaa! I'm so sorry Sarah Jane I promise I love you I'm so sorry don't let me go I love you no please Sarah Jane let's go and do it again, please!
CLYDE
What?!
SARAH JANE
Er...
CLYDE
You've been three-timing me?
SARAH JANE
I can explain!
CLYDE
I don't wanna hear it. (Leaves.)
(beat)
LUKE
Mum, I'm hungry.
SARAH JANE
(unbuttoning shirt)
Ugh, fine. But quickly though, Maria wants a go too.
MARIA
Yay! (licks lips)
THE END.
Slowly Free Me: Mr Smith/Wormwood/Containment Field
Mr Smith did as he was told and put a containment field around Mrs Wormwood. Oh how he liked trapping people and watching them suffer. Back when he was a proper Xylok, he was the pimp master of BDSM. Oh yes, he loved watching Mrs Wormwood try to touch the containment field. He liked her distress.
"Release me!" Mrs Wormwood sang, like a cat being raped by a Dalek.
The containment field orgasmed at the touch of Mrs Wormwood's oily fingertips. Mr Smith liked how the containment field felt.
"This is orgasmically interesting." He commented.
"Oh Mr Smith." Mrs Wormwood began to cry.
La la la.
"Release me!" Mrs Wormwood sang, like a cat being raped by a Dalek.
The containment field orgasmed at the touch of Mrs Wormwood's oily fingertips. Mr Smith liked how the containment field felt.
"This is orgasmically interesting." He commented.
"Oh Mr Smith." Mrs Wormwood began to cry.
La la la.
The Moxx and Jagrafess... Oh So Saliva!
The Moxx of Balhoon screamed and cried in pleasure as he felt the Jagrafess' slimy saliva lubricate his blue, bald head. "Oh breakdown my starches!" he moaned. The temperature was hot. Sweat drizzled down the Jagrafess' voluptuous body and met his building saliva. SPLASH! It squirted onto Moxx's face. Moxx liked this new taste. He wanted more. He wanted it right now! The Moxx licked the white juice and cackled in the pleasure...
Scenes We Never Saw: Prisoner of the Judoon
Androvax felt an urge to do him. He was rough and hunky, nothing like the leather-clad wimps on his home planet. That's why he killed them all. And he didn't even sodomise them when they died.
He grabbed a brick and swung it at Tybo's face. The Judoon dropped to the ground instantly. Now was the time to have some fun.
Andy's long tongue slivered out of his mouth and began to explore the Judoon's body. Suddenly, Andy felt an urge to explode, and he did so, all over Tybo's eye. Andy cackled in his Russell Brand voice and skipped off in his leather catsuit.
Ugh Pairings: Martha and the Face of Boe
Martha ran her hands along the Face of Boe's fleshy skin. Her fingers squirmed in and out of the long, fishy tentacles and she rubbed them with joy. The Face of Boe awoke with a startle. He was lying on the ground with a cracked shell. "Oh oh oh," He mumbled in his usual incoherent grunts. God knows what he wanted, but Martha didn't care. She did things to him which are too disgusting and erotic to write about even HERE!
Suddenly, she heard the footsteps of a Cat Nun coming her way. But she wanted to finish the job, so she did it. She pulled his man-milk into her earthquake and moaned. And groaned. And stuff.
Then she grabbed her deus ex machina teleporter and teleported to the future. Or the past depending on when you wanna place this.
"They called me the Face of Boe," Jack tried to smile, but his botox wouldn't let him. Martha reappeared a split milisecond after she had disappeared. "The Face of Boe?" She thought... and grinned a menacing grin whilst patting her stomach tenderly...
There's a Clybo in the closet...
Clyde ran his hands across Tybo's wrinkly face. He loved it. The Judoon moaned in pleasure, "Yo go lo," he winked, "lo lo lo."
So Clyde did as he said. The Judoon's leather tunic somehow dropped onto the ground and Clyde was face to face with Tybo's tybo.
"That's TINY!" Clyde screamed in disbelief and ran away.
"Mo fo."
Ugh Pairings: Sarah Jane and Androvax
Sarah Jane felt her reptilian lover's tongue dance on her newly botoxed neck. She liked the slithery feeling as the saliva meandered down her back. She felt his scaly face and moaned at the feeling. Now it was time to get dangerous.
She ripped off Androvax's leather clothing and whipped his bottom with her special Sonic Whip. He began to undress Sarah but she stopped him and snarled in his reptile ears, "I own you..."
Androvax was scared as Sarah Jane pulled his schnoffle-banger into her closet and gasped. The effect was instant as a hot splurge of white gas erupted from his weiderhosen and all over her face and she smelt it, hotly.
"You can destroy me, anyday." Sarah giggled, but suddenly! Luke arrived, with a big shock on his face!
Dum dum ddduuuummm!!!!
She ripped off Androvax's leather clothing and whipped his bottom with her special Sonic Whip. He began to undress Sarah but she stopped him and snarled in his reptile ears, "I own you..."
Androvax was scared as Sarah Jane pulled his schnoffle-banger into her closet and gasped. The effect was instant as a hot splurge of white gas erupted from his weiderhosen and all over her face and she smelt it, hotly.
"You can destroy me, anyday." Sarah giggled, but suddenly! Luke arrived, with a big shock on his face!
Dum dum ddduuuummm!!!!
Sarah Jane Incestigates
"HARDER! LUKE! HARDER!!!"
Sarah Jane moaned for Luke to do her harder. "Here, Luke. In this bit!"
Luke look at her body. She was pointing to a line but... argh! There were too many lines! "Which wrinkle?" He cried helpessly, nearly bursting into tears.
Sarah Jane grabbed his firecracker and slammed it in her mousetrap. Luke moaned... "Yes! YES! YESSS!"
Luke awoke with a start. He was sweating buckets. "Phew, it was only a dream," he reassured himself, before snuggling up to his mother who was in his bed. Naked.
Sarah Jane moaned for Luke to do her harder. "Here, Luke. In this bit!"
Luke look at her body. She was pointing to a line but... argh! There were too many lines! "Which wrinkle?" He cried helpessly, nearly bursting into tears.
Sarah Jane grabbed his firecracker and slammed it in her mousetrap. Luke moaned... "Yes! YES! YESSS!"
Luke awoke with a start. He was sweating buckets. "Phew, it was only a dream," he reassured himself, before snuggling up to his mother who was in his bed. Naked.
Ugh Pairings: Dalek and Jagrafess
The Dalek peeped from the side of the wall. He saw the Jagrafess' hot purple skin, and the hot salvia dribbling from his mouth. The Dalek's eye glistened blue with a horny passion. His sucker twitched. He wanted it. He wanted the Jagrafess.
The Jagrafess roared. He knew that the Dalek was spying on him. He wanted this spy Dalek to come and sucker him. He wanted the Dalek to rub his roundels into the Jagrafess' hot, flubbery skin.
The Dalek levitated and did so. The Jagrafess moaned with hot passion as the Dalek ejected a stream of white energy into the Jagrafess' eye.
"Ex-sperm-in-ate..." he moaned...
The Jagrafess roared. He knew that the Dalek was spying on him. He wanted this spy Dalek to come and sucker him. He wanted the Dalek to rub his roundels into the Jagrafess' hot, flubbery skin.
The Dalek levitated and did so. The Jagrafess moaned with hot passion as the Dalek ejected a stream of white energy into the Jagrafess' eye.
"Ex-sperm-in-ate..." he moaned...
Ugh Pairings: Davros and the Bane Mother
Davros felt the Bane Mother's slimy tentacles touch his wrinkly face. The feeling was dazzling and he felt his metal knob on his control board rise a little.
The Bane Mother let Davros' metal hand touch her eye. It felt electrifying. Davros ejaculated a stream of white electricity - killing the Mother and leaving her large body to rot. Davros leaned over and began to bite her tender tentacle.
"This is my final hicky, Mother..."
Ugh Pairings: Harriet Jones and an Ood
The Ood let its fronds tickle Harriet's backside. She loved this fetish. She turned around and licked the juicy, bald head of the Ood. The Ood moaned. This was better than the Telepathorgies he had with his fellow Ood.
Harriet Jones ripped off her top to reveal two triangles of meaty lady meat. The Ood let his brain touch each nipple. Harriet liked the gloopy feeling on them. She liked it so much, that she spread her legs wider and let the brain dangle in her cerebrum...
Ugh Pairings: Martha and Commander Skorr
Skorr liked Martha. He liked Martha very much. She was a sexy Doctor from Earth. Martha touched his armour and rubbed it. Skorr moaned with pleasure. It was convenient for him, as he could easily reach Martha's bric-a-brac without bending down or reaching up too much.
He mingled with them carefully, his three finger brushing along her dark skin.
Martha loved it. She ripped off Skorr's armour until all that was left of him, was a slimy, naked baked potato standing in front of her. She took a slobbery bite out of his butter well and tasted it...
Ugh Pairings: Jack and Wilf
Jack unzipped his fly and let Wilf mingle with his futuristic banana. Wilf took it out and pulled it. Jack moaned again and again as Wilf took a lick of his milkshake stick.
Now it was Jack's turn. His finger touched Wilf's saggy man breasts and playfully ran rings around his pruned nipples. His hands grabbed Wilf's bald patch and tickled it carefully. Wilf experienced pleasure - more than he had gotten from Sylvia when she gave him a sponge bath.
Wilf took out his thing. Well it wasn't one thing any more, more like a conglomeration of outdated pear skin and a bit of dog hair.
Jack eeked and proceded to massage it...
Ugh Pairings: Donna and a Graske
The Graske touched Donna's legs, desperately trying to grab her balloons, which seemed so close, yet so far away. Donna bent lower to allow him to cling onto them, his hands delving into the soft, lusciousness that were - her pompoms.
Donna grabbed the Graske's horns and began to rub them slowly. The Graske moaned in pleasure. He like it. Donna unzipped her top and allowed the Graske to play more. But this time, the Graske was so hornily shocked by the size of her U-boats, he fainted.
Donna smiled and bent over...
Ugh Pairings: River Song and an Adipose
River Song touched the Adipose and felt the luscious fat delve into her hands. The Adipose loved it and squealed more. She placed the Adipose between her two pies and smuggled it. The Adipose moaned and began to hump the gap inbetween. River Song loved it. She loved the feeling of it.
She pushed the Adipose harder and harder, until it became all squashed up into a cylidrical shape.
She knew what to do with that....
Ugh Pairings: Jenny and Grandma Connelly
Jenny ran her hand across Gran Connelly's smooth face. A rush of excitement thrilled her. She touched her grey, wispy hair which had grown old with age and twirled it around her index finger. It felt hot and cool all at the same time.
Now it was Gran's turn. She couldn't see anything 'cause of the pesky Wire, but she could touch. And boy the things she touched were round and bumpy and soft. She twirled her wrinkled finger around Jenny's nips. She felt aroused.
“Oh boy,” Jenny was feeling hot, hot, hot. She then preceded to remove her top...
Now it was Gran's turn. She couldn't see anything 'cause of the pesky Wire, but she could touch. And boy the things she touched were round and bumpy and soft. She twirled her wrinkled finger around Jenny's nips. She felt aroused.
“Oh boy,” Jenny was feeling hot, hot, hot. She then preceded to remove her top...
Scenes We Never Saw: Journey's End: Part 0.5
SARAH JANE
Davros... it's you!
DAVROS
Ah yes... Sarah Jane Smith... I remember when-
SARAH JANE
Shh! Don't tell them!
DAVROS
What? About the time when you came to visit the birth of the Daleks in the story Genesis of the Daleks?
SARAH JANE
DAVROS
Ah yes... Sarah Jane Smith... I remember when-
SARAH JANE
Shh! Don't tell them!
DAVROS
What? About the time when you came to visit the birth of the Daleks in the story Genesis of the Daleks?
SARAH JANE
Oh, I thought you meant something else.
DAVROS
DAVROS
And what would that be?
SARAH JANE
Our encounter previously...?
DAVROS
Ah yes... I remember quite clearly...
Flashback: INT - A house. Davros is looking through a magazine. A woman walks in, wearing a short, sparkly thing (which is apparently called clothing, but only in Slutland, I gather...)
SARAH JANE
Ah, I'm here.
DAVROS
Are you the woman I called?
SARAH JANE
Quite rightly so. I've brought my own little toys too.
DAVROS
You won't be needing them. Do your thing...
SARAH JANE
Oh yes. I will.
End of Flashback.
JACK
What the hell was that?!
SARAH JANE
Oh my word... can someone cut that out from the final broadcast please?
DAVROS
Ha ha ha... Sarah Jane... will you accompany me to destroy the world?
SARAH JANE
Our encounter previously...?
DAVROS
Ah yes... I remember quite clearly...
Flashback: INT - A house. Davros is looking through a magazine. A woman walks in, wearing a short, sparkly thing (which is apparently called clothing, but only in Slutland, I gather...)
SARAH JANE
Ah, I'm here.
DAVROS
Are you the woman I called?
SARAH JANE
Quite rightly so. I've brought my own little toys too.
DAVROS
You won't be needing them. Do your thing...
SARAH JANE
Oh yes. I will.
End of Flashback.
JACK
What the hell was that?!
SARAH JANE
Oh my word... can someone cut that out from the final broadcast please?
DAVROS
Ha ha ha... Sarah Jane... will you accompany me to destroy the world?
SARAH JANE
Er... NO!
DAVROS
Ha ha ha... You, Jack? C'mon! A cronie needs some help.
SUPREME DALEK
Then what am I for?
DAVROS
Colour.
JACK
Suree! *teleports to Davros' side*
ALL gasp.
Er... NO!
DAVROS
Ha ha ha... You, Jack? C'mon! A cronie needs some help.
SUPREME DALEK
Then what am I for?
DAVROS
Colour.
JACK
Suree! *teleports to Davros' side*
ALL gasp.